Despite Loss, John Madden's Raging Hard-On for Brett Favre Continues

The Chicago Bears finally came out of hibernation tonight to beat the surging Green Bay Packers on national television, 27-20. What's more striking than this surprising Bears win is the ongoing fellating of Packers QB Brett Favre in the form of a drooling, anecdotal John Madden. I've never had a problem with Madden, really. I like that he led the Oakland Raiders to a Super Bowl victory and numerous AFC Championship games during his time as a head coach. I like that he has a wildly popular video game that is entirely too complex for me to play. I like the fact that he knows good football when he sees it, loves a great defense, and has the kind of straight-talk analysis that'd make President Bush seem downright intellectual. What I loathe, however, is his ongoing, unrequited manlove for Brett Favre.

While I do not have an accurate count of how many times Madden uttered Favre's name during tonight's broadcast, it seemed as if the very name "Brett Favre" had taken the place of the word "the" in Madden's oratorial lexicon:

"I'll tell ya, Al Michaels, when you handle Brett Favre football as well as Brett Favre does, you're going to get into Brett Favre end zone early and often..."

"I'll say this, Brett Favre Bears have one of Brett Favre storied defenses in Brett Favre NFL..."

Now, for a die-hard Bears fan, any sort of adulation for anything vaguely resembling a Packer chaps my hide (the only other sports rivalry that even comes close in my book is the Red Sox vs. the Yankees in Major League Baseball). That said, you'd be a fool not to recognize that Brett Favre is one of the greatest QBs ever to play the game. Hell, he's thrown more TD passes than any QB in history, and these facts can't be disputed. And, to his credit, he did proclaim that "Chicago is a better team than people give them credit for..." during tonight's post-game press conference.

I would, however, love it if John Madden dialed it down a bit when it comes to Brett Favre, if only to save me from cleaning up my vomitus each time he lovingly utters his name. It sure would give my esophageal lining a break. I'll even offer up a compromise for Madden: every time you mention Favre's record of most TDs ever by a QB, you also have to mention he also holds the distinction of throwing more interceptions than any QB in the history of the NFL (a record he broke during tonight's Bears win). And if Madden finds that too painful, I know a guy who might be able to numb the pain with some Vicodin.

Bear Down.