dubya on the white sox: a conversation imagined.

his father was there behind home plate, root-root-rooting for the home team. mama bush was there, too... physically. mentally, she looked like she was one misplaced tin foil-wrapped teabag away from dementia as bush elder had to roust her out of her apparent stupor to inform her of key plays and strike outs.

alas, the good guys (as they're known in the city of broad shoulders) took it to the astros, and earned chicago its first world series title in 88 years. here's how dubya might sum up the sox sweep, with all his eloquent-manque straight talk:

"It's a good day for the White Sox. Good day for Chicagoans. And it's a good day for, uh, anyone who likes winning. Show me someone who doesn't like winning, I'll show you a loser. That's what makes this country great, is that we're a country of winners. Do I feel bad that my father's team was swept in the series? Not particularly, truth be told. I'm a Rangers fan. Sure, some of you folks in the press corps'll find a way to position this as another example of how I don't see eye-to-eye with a certain former president. And that'd just be the media fictitionalizing the truth. Whatever the case, congratulatories are in order for the White Sox, the White Sox organization, and I'd like to give a shout out to Ozzie Guillen. Love that accent. God bless 'merica."